Posted by: The Matzo Ball | November 16, 2009

Belichick Admits To Throwing Colts Game

"Coaches always have their offense go for it on fourth-and-two from their own 28-yard-when there are two minutes remaining in the game and your team is up by six points." - Bill Belichick

Many experts used to say that New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was a shoe-in to become a Hall of Famer, due to guiding the Pats to three Super Bowls in four years (2001, ’02 and ’04). But after Spygate, certain owners around the NFL contemplated whether or not Belichick was actually a mastermind, or just a master cheat.

But for Belichick, just as he started to turn the corner after being fined $500,000 for stealing signals, most notably against the New York Jets, football fans may never look at the Patriots coach in the same manner ever again.

ESPN reported earlier this afternoon that Belichick allegedly threw the game “because his cousin was in dire need of some money.” The NFL confirmed these reports and the three-time Super Bowl winner will be suspended for at minimum four games for “conduct unbecoming of coaching personnel.”

“I am embarrassed and I apologize for the situation that occurred, but my cousin needed some money and after the Spygate fine, I only have $92 million in my account,” Belichick said. “I’m sorry that I’m not Oprah Winfrey.“

This is a major blow to the National Football League who was trying to avoid a Tim Donaghy experience.  NBA Commissioner David Stern and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell met to discuss possible further punishments.

“Bill [Belichick] and Tim [Donaghy] are very similar in so many ways,” Stern said. “They both threw games, ruining the integrity of the sport. Tim is a referee and even though Bill isn’t, he definitely looks like one. He also looks pretty awkward run running onto the field for the post-game handshake custom.”

As perplexed as the players on the Patriots were, it is even more intriguing that no one saw this coming.

“I’m surprised they didn’t catch me sooner,” Belichick said. “Do you know how many years I’ve been trying to lose to the Jets? For some reason, they just won’t let us lose. It gets irritating after a while.”

The Jets held the Patriots to just nine points, 20 below New England’s average when New York prevailed 16-9 back on September 20.

It’s remarkable that Belichick almost got away with it; and it’s still a mystery as to how he was caught in the act, especially because his plan quite scrupulous.

“I don’t know how they found out either,” the Pats skipper said. “Coaches always have their offense go for it on fourth-and-two from their own 28-yard-when there are two minutes remaining in the game and your team is up by six points.”

Game Notes:
Belichick gave a very flimsy hand shake after the game. Did he know he was going to get caught for throwing the game or does he just have weak hands?



  1. Belichick’s flimsy hand shake at the end of the game indicated his disgust. His disgust with the fact that he still had not covered the spread. The Colts were favored by 3 and they only won by 1. Belichick had not figured out how to give away those other 2 points.

  2. Belichick is such a piece of crap. Good stuff.

  3. I wouldn’t be surprised if this were true.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: