Posted by: The Matzo Ball | November 17, 2009

Famous college basketball player misses game on ESPN: “Alarm didn’t wake me up”

“Frankly, all of our other players suck and I’d be surprised if we win more than four games next year if we lose Sheiny to the NBA."– St. Peter’s coach John Dunne.

The fourth game of the 2009 College Hoops Tip-Off Marathon featuring St. Peter’s and Monmouth was supposed to give the Peacocks a chance to showcase their best player, freshman Adam Sheinman, whom ESPN ranked as the fifth best player in the country. But much to St. Peter’s Head Coach John Dunne’s chagrin, Sheinman never showed up for the 6:00 a.m. televised event.

The 6’2 guard from Idabit City, Ia. gave his coach a call at approximately 8:37 a.m. – 43 minutes after his team defeated the Monmouth Hawks in the Early Bird ESPN-televised Special. He apparently missed his alarm.

“My alarm didn’t wake me up,” Sheinman said. “I hit the snooze button about 11 times, and I guess the 12th time someone must have come into my room and thrown it against the wall because when I finally woke up, I found my alarm clock thrown against the wall.”

Dunne said Sheinman gave a sincere apology and his explanation was well received.

“I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk on a Monday night,” the 19-year-old Idabit High School standout said. “But when you get challenged to a game of Beer Pong, you must accept. It’s in the book… Wait, am I going to get in trouble for underage drinking? If so, we were playing with milk. And everything I said before is strictly off the record.”

Sheinman, who is expected to be a top-10 pick in the 2010 NBA draft and averaged 30.4 ppg, 8.2 spg and 0.2 apg, led the Idabit High Labradoodles to a 29-2 record and his senior year.

Dunne was relieved that he didn’t need his superstar in action to beat the Hawks.

“Frankly, all of our other players suck and I’d be surprised if we win more than four games next year if we lose Sheiny [Sheinman] to the NBA,” Dunne said passionately. “There’s a reason why when journalists come to the post-game conference, they don’t know any of our guys. They know one guy and that’s it. Hell, even I forget the names of some of our starters.”

Even though coach Dunne was understanding, some of Sheinman’s teammates were not as forgiving.

“We’re projected to win the MAAC [Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference] not because of one guy, but because of our whole team’s contribution,” a player said falsely. “We are a team and that’s why we will win games this season.”

Another player also echoed similar incorrect thoughts:

“Sheinman is as equal as any other person on this team,” said a different player from the last one.



  1. Idabit High is not Dunne. But if it is true that all their players suck then there might be a place for them on a New York or New Jersey team with little else to lose.

  2. why wud espn have games on tv at 6 am? does anyone even watch? thiis is hiarlious though. adam sheinman seems like an outsatnding guy

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