Posted by: The Matzo Ball | November 18, 2009

Lebron James Signs One-Year Deal With Cleveland Browns

Lebron James, shown talking at football practice, signed a one-year $3.2 million dollar contract earlier today with the Cleveland Browns.

What started out as small talk has turned into what could keep the Cleveland Browns out of the cellar of the NFL and get fans buying tickets again.

The Browns signed Cleveland Cavaliers star Lebron James to a one-year $3.2 million dollar contract, and expect him to play tight end.

“I’ve been waiting my entire career to play with big men who are under the age of 60,” said the Akron, Ohio native, who is averaging 28.3 ppg, 6.6 rpg and 8.1 apg so far this season. “Shaq’s great and all, but I’m sick of getting his cane for him after every game since Delonte [West] got in trouble with the law. And people wonder why I want to move to play with the Knicks?”

Despite the Browns’ struggles this year, head coach Eric Mangini knows that in the NFL, it isn’t always about the end result.

“It’s not always about wins and losses, but how you look on the football field,” Mangini said. “Since we’re probably going to go 1-15 this season, we might as well do it fashionably. Maybe we can wear designer cleats and scarves and bring a new meaning to the word ‘uniform.’”

Robert Royal,  the Browns’ eighth-year tight end out of Louisiana State, whom may be challenged by James is not as thrilled with the situation.

“At this point in the season, even if we get Randy Moss, Larry Fitzgerald and Peyton Manning on our team, we still aren’t making the playoffs,” Royal said. “Do you really want a guy who wears a [expletive] Yankees hat at a Cleveland playoff game to be on our team? I’d rather take Allen Iverson.”

The notion that the NFL is unofficially referred to as “Not for Long” doesn’t faze the basketball sensation.

“I can take and shake hits, so I’m not really concerned about that,” James said. “I just have to make sure that I don’t injure myself while dunking on the goal post after I score a touchdown because I don’t wanna get injured on a dunk again.”

Cleveland fans are excited that they will get to see their favorite player on the basketball court and the football field during the same season.

“I’ve had season tickets for the past nine years,” said Laurence Stulman, the CEO of the Environmental Sufficient Palindromes (ESP) firm, “and it’s been so difficult to give away these Brown tickets. Now that Lebron is playing, well I’m still not going to go a Browns’ game, but the tickets will be much easier to get rid of.”
Other Cleveland fans are wondering how Cavs Head Coach Mike Brown is taking this news.

“That’s a good one guys,” Brown said. “Lebron James will play tight end on the Cleveland Browns when the Titans, Redskins, Panthers and Chiefs win a game in the same week!”

Game Notes:
Since there were six blackouts in the NFL last week, are the results from the games that took place in Week 10:
NFL Schedule – Week 10



  1. i thnk even i cud make the browns better if was on teh team.

  2. With LaBron on the field, no NFL wide receiver would dare try to celebrate by “dunking” the football over the goalpost crossbar. It would just be too embarrassing.

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