Posted by: The Matzo Ball | December 5, 2009

Allen Iverson Gets Teary During Press Conference Because Sixers Are So Bad

Allen Iverson admits that he cried because the Sixers are a really really bad team -- and now, he's a part of the horror.

With the resigning of Allen Iverson, everyone in Philadelphia assumed Iverson’s teary eyes during his first press conference in his return as a Sixer stemmed from the amount of passion and love he has for the team, the fans and the city. Well Philadelphia… you were wrong.

Iverson clarified what those tears represented and why he couldn’t stop the waterworks.

“Are you kidding me?” The Answer asked in question format. “I do love the fans and the city, but I was crying up there because this 76ers team is the crappiest team I’ve ever played on! Where’s Dikembe Mutumbo? Where’s Eric Snow? Where’s Matt Geiger? Hell, I’ll even take George Lynch!”

The Sixers are hoping the second time around will end much better for Iverson, who said that he wants to finish his career. But he still questions why Philadelphia, let alone any team, would want the former regular season, all-star and NBA Finals MVP.

“If this team didn’t suck so badly, then why would they sign a 40-year-old outcast like me?” Iverson asked reporters. “There were 29 other teams that didn’t want me. Even the Knicks didn’t want me on their team. The New York Knicks! But the Sixers? Hell, they would take someone from the WNBA if they could. Sorry, Lebron.”

Sixers Head Coach Eddie Jordan, who has six kids from two wives and a random relationship, said he was proud of the opportunity Iverson would have with the team.

“As a coach, you know your team is in trouble when Lou Williams gets injured and everyone cries out, ‘Oh no! Our second best player!’” Jordan said. “There’s a reason why the Sixers are second-to-worst in attendance this year.”

Jordan also thought this move of picking up Iverson would temporarily save his job.

“What? What are you talking about?” Jordan said. “How would I get fired in the middle of the season? Yes, I did get fired after a 1-10 start with Washington last year, but at 5-15, I’m only 10 games under .500 this season as opposed to last year when we were… well, nine games under .500.”

Meanwhile, Thaddeus Young is expecting great things in Iverson’s return.

“You don’t even know who I am,” Young said. “Can you even pronounce my first name correctly?”


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